Watching A Very Potter Musical
by Here's7to6never5growing4up
Summary: Join Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, Cho, Dumbledore, and Snape as they watch the hilarious A Very Potter Musical. Warning: OOC. Rated T for mild cursing. GWxHP DMxHG
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except for a computer that let's me see the musical...does that count? No, well go back to my original statement.**

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The summer after his fifth year, Harry Potter sat on his bed, trying to do homework, but couldn't due to his mourning. Harry blamed himself for The death of his godfather, Sirius Black. When the minister arrived he believed what Dumbledore had said about Sirius, so his name had been cleared. That made Harry feel a bit better, but not fully.

As he wrote his sad guess for what the ingredients for a darkening potion were, he heard Hedwig out side. He had let her out to hunt, but instead of a rat, she came back with a note. He opened the window, and looked the note. It said his name in a hand writing that looked like his. He opened the letter and read:

_Dear Harry Potter,_

_I understand you and your friends are going through the calm before the storm. So, I think you need to have some fun before you start you battle. You also need a couple more allies. I can help with both. Once you finish reading this letter, you will be transported to Hermione Granger's home. Some of your friends are there, some are in transit. I do hope you enjoy this. _

_Sincerely,_

_H.J.P, H.J.G, R.B.W, G.W, C.C, D.M, L.P, J.P, and A.S.P._

_PS: Please tell Hermione we say thanks. And the following people will be there; You, Hermione, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Cho Chang, Albus Dumbledore, and Severus Snape._

Then, Harry felt a sudden pull at his chest, with a flash of light, he was outside, flying somewhere. When he stopped he was on his back staring at a light bulb. "Harry," He heard Hermione's voice say. He got up, and was tackled in a bear hug. "Good," she said when she released him,"your the last one."

They heard a beeping sound and then Ron yelled,"Hermione! It's gonna explode!"

Hermione went into the kitchen and came back with a large container of buttered popcorn. "We're ready," she called, then turned to Harry,"Dumbledore wanted everyone to know what a muggle house looked like. He took everyone but him," she pointed at the kitchen, where Ron was,"because I needed help to lay out the food."

He looked at the coffee table which was covered in chips, popcorn, candy, soda, water, and butter beer(where she got it, he had no idea). Ron came in with some tea. "He, mate," he said once he put it down.

Soon everyone was downstairs. "Miss Granger," Dumbledore said," I enjoyed looking at your home. The book collection god amazing." Hermione smiled in thanks. Everyone sat down: Draco, Harry, Ginny, and Hermione on the couch, Snape and Dumbledore in the love seat, Ron in a puffy revolving chair, and Cho in the recliner.

"Okay," Hermione said picking up an IPad, "the thing you have been asked to watch is called A Very Potter Musical. It's supposed to be for amusement, but just in case, magic has been taken away. I hope you enjoy." She finished reading from the email and pushed a couple things and the TV came on and read A Very Potter Musical.

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**Please review!**


	2. Act 1 Scene 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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The words disappear and the screen shows a boy with messy black hair and glasses sitting on a trunk in the middle of a stage. "Is that me?" Harry asked.

"Looks just you, Potter," Draco said, and was then elbowed by Hermione.

**HARRY: (singing) Underneath these stairs I hear the sneers and feel glares of  
my cousin, my uncle and my aunt.**

"What do you mean by 'Underneath these stairs'?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing," Harry mumbled.

**Can't believe how cruel they are ****and it stings my lighting scar****to know that they'll never ever give me what I want.**

"Selfish much, Potter," Draco said, only to be elbowed again. "Will you stop!"he said to Hermione.

"Only when you do."

**I know I don't deserve these ****stupid rules made by the Dursleys ****here on Privet drive. ****Can't take all of these muggles, ****but despite all of my struggles, ****I'm still alive.**

"Harry, mate, abut over dramatic," Ron said. Harry then threw a pillow at his best friend, of course.**  
**

**I'm sick of summer and this waiting around. ****Man, its September, and I'm skipping this town. ****Hey It's no mystery, theres nothing here for me now; ****I gotta get back to Hogwarts**

When 'Harry' stood, the teens, minus Harry, laughed, Dumbledores eyes twinkled, and Snape's lips twitched.

**;I gotta get back to get myself to Hogwarts, Where everybody knows I'm cool Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love, and it's all that I need. HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, I think I'm going back-**

"You really like Hogwarts that much?" Dumbledore asked.

"Of course,"Harry answered,"It's where all my friends are. I feel like I belong there and no matter what happens, I always will. It's my home."

**I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we crytake my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky NO WAY this year anyone's gonna die**

"That'd be nice."

**, and it's gonna be totally awesome. **

"Potter," Snape said," stop saying that immediately."

"It's not me!"

**I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand defeat the dark arts, yeah bring **

"No," Harry said,"bring it off. Not on. Off."

**it on! And do it all with my best friend Ron, **

"That's me," Ron yelled like a kindergardener.

**'cause together we're totally awesome**

Then, a person wearing a red wig with a blue headband comes through the side door.

**RON: Yeah, and it's gonna be totally awesome! **

Everyone started laughing, while Ron said,"That's not me."

**(Speaking) Did somebody say Ron Weasley? Hey, sorry it took me so long to get here. I had to go get some Floo Powder, but, uh, we gotta get going. Get your trunk and let's go! **

**HARRY: Where're we going?**

**RON: To Diagon Alley, of course!**

**HARRY: Cool!**

**RON: C'mon!**

"That was really cheesy," Ginny said.

"Chessier than _Twilight," _Hermione said.**(A/N: Nothing against Twilght, I like the books, but, come on, the movie was REALLY cheesy.)**

**HARRY & RON: (while flapping arms) Floo Powder power! Floo Powder power! Floo Powder power! Floo powder power!**

"What the hell are you doing, Potter?!" Draco asked, and even Hermione was to busy laughing to hurt him.

"Merlin," Ginny said,"I've been doing that wrong forever." Everyone laughed harder while Harry and Ron yelled,"It's not us!"

**RON: (Singing) It's been so long, but we're going back don't go for work, don't go there for class**

"Got that right," Ron and Harry exclaimed.

They then were quiet at Hermione's questioning look and Snape saying,"Will then maybe more work will help you appreciate both."

**HARRY: As long as were together—**

**RON: - gonna kick some ass**

Both were thinking_, Got that right. _They were just to afraid of Snape to say it.

**HARRY & RON: and it's gonna be totally awesome!**

"I'm doing it now," Ron cried.

**This year we'll take everybody by storm, ****stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm.**

Hermione glared at them, even though she was guilty of doing that. Eh, it made sense in her mind. It isn't like ours . . .

**HERMIONE: But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class  
if we want to pass our OWLS!**

Everyone laughed at the girls who had popped onto the screen. Her hair was...something.

Hermione gapped at the screen,"I look nothing like that. I used to have that hair, but now I don't."

"I don't know, Granger," I'll-give-you-one-guess-who said,"you could have fooled me," he was then glared at,"What? I was joking."

**RON: Aw, Hermione, why do you have to be such a buzz kill?**

Hermione raised her eyebrow. "Sorry," Ron cried,"don't kill me." . Only Draco could see the tiny smirk in Hermione's face.

**HERMIONE: Because, guys, school's not all about having fun. We need to study hard if we're gonna be good witches and wizards! Ugh! **

"Correct, Miss Granger, ten points to Gryffindor,"Dumbledore said. No one reminded him that they were on vacation.

(**Singing)I may be frumpy,**

"You aren't frumpy," Ginny told her best friend,"your really pretty."

"Thanks, Gin," Hermione smiled at her best friend.

** but I'm super smart. **

"Understatement of the century," Ron and Harry said in unison. Freaky. I know.

**Check out my grades, they're "A's" for a start.**

**"**You mean O's, right?" Cho asked.

"Oh, A's are the highest grade you could get in the muggle world," Hermione explained.

**What I lack in looks **

"You don't lack in looks," Cho and Ginny said. Hermione just smiled.

**I make up in heart, **

"You do have a lot of heart," Harry said.

"Thanks," she said, blushing from all of the compliment.

**and well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome. **

"Not me too,"Hermione moaned.

**This year I plan to study a lot...**

"You always do," Everyone, even Draco, Dumbledore, and Snape, yelled.

"Well sorry," Hermione muttered.

**RON: That would be cool if you were actually hot!**

"RONALD WEASLEY, SAY YOU'RE SORRY," Ginny yelled, as if her friend had a low self-esteem.

"Sorry Hermione."

**HARRY: Hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got!**

"Sorry Hermione," Harry said before Ginny could yell. Hermione just laughed at the two boys.

**RON: and that's cool...**

"Not really," Cho said.

**HERMIONE: and that's totally awesome!**

"What is with that?" Draco asked.

"It's an American muggle saying," Hermione said.

"Thanks," Draco said causing Hermione to blush. Why? You have to read. Or look at the summary. Either one works.

**HARRY, RON & HERMIONE: Yeah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome!  
We're sick of summer and this waiting around! It's like we're sitting in the lost and found! Don't take no sorcery for anyone to see how... We gotta get back to Hogwarts. We gotta get back to school. We gotta get back to Hogwarts, where everything is magic-cooooool!**

"How creative," Snape said.

"Not much," Ron said

** (A lot of people come on stage and sing)**

**EVERYONE: Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts****to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts it's**** all that I love, and it's all that I need at ****HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS**

**HARRY, RON& HERMIONE: - I think we're going back...**

"Well," Hermione said," that's the end of the scene."

"Well, hurry up," Ron said. He then received a glare and added,"please?"

"Okay," she said getting up...

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**Please review!**


	3. Act 1 Scene 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: Hello. I just want everyone to give out prays for the victims in the Philippines after that typhoon. No one from my family was there, but I feel very sorry for the people who's wives, parents, or husbands were there and were injured or killed. Also, do me a favor and look up Batkid. It's really sweet.**

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Only when Ron had stopped chanting did Hermione set up the next scene. When she say down, she realized that Draco had his arm draped "casually" across her shoulder.

(**Cast exits except for Harry Ron and Hermione, and enter Ginny)**

**GINNY: Ron!****You were supposed to take me to Madame Malkins and use those sickles mum gave you for my robe fittings!**

Everyone laugh at the girl on screen who was wearing a red wig and had a really...peerky attitude. Ginny, however, was on the couch with her head between her hands, muttering,"it's that nightmare all over again." No one knew what it meant...

**HARRY: Uhh, Who's this? (asks to Ron)**

**RON: Oh, This is stupid dumb little sister Ginny,**

"Wow Ron, I never knew you cared so much," Ginny said sarcastically.

"Well, now you know," Ron smiled happily. Ginny just though,_I wonder who that backfired for more._ _  
_

**she's a freshman. Ginny this is Harry, Potter this is Harry Potter.**

**GINNY: Ohh, your Harry Potter! Your the boy who lived!**

"Oh no," Ginny said,"it's that me. I don't like that me, I like me me. Hermione, get rid of that me. You don't like that me either."

**HARRY: Yeah your Ginny.**

**GINNY: Its Ginevra.**

"No," Ginny yelled," my name is Ginny. Why did my mother have to name me that other awful name."

(**holds hand out for a hand shake but harry ignores it)**

**HARRY: Cool, Ginny's fine.**

**RON: (Claps hands above Ginnys head) Stupid sister! Don't crowd the famous friend!**

**HERMIONE: Hey do you guys hear music or something?**

**CHO+POSSE: (Enter doing their little dance) Cho Chang, Domo Arigato, Cho CHang. Gung hey fat Choy Chang, Happy happy new year. Cho Chang!**

Everyone was laughing. Cho was smiling. At least they had a cute Asian playing her.

**GINNY: Who's that?**

**RON: Thats Cho Chang, the girl Harry's totally been in love with since freshman year.**

Cho raised her eyebrows. She liked Harry, but she missed Cedric. Harry reminded her to much of him. Plus, she, Hermione, and a lot of other girls were having a bet on when Ginny and Harry would get together. She had already lost, so she was hoping Hermione would win. That meant the two girls had to get them together by the end of summer.

**HERMIONE: Yeah but he wont say anything to her.**

**RON: Yeah, well you never tell a girl you like her it makes you look like an idiot!**

"Amen," every boy in the room said, only to blush at the girls questioning looks.

**GINNY: (Walks over to the group of girls) Konichiwa Cho, Chang. It is good to meet you. My name is Ginny Weasley(Says it all very distinctly to lavender)**

"I'm an idiot."

"No your not," Dumbledore said to the red head,"your character is."

**LAVENDER: Bitch, I aint Cho Chang!**

**RON: Thats Lavender Brown! (Claps hand over Ginnys head) Racist sister!**

"Lavender isn't Asian," Ron said," and I don't think Cho even knows her."

"I don't," Cho agreed.

**CHO: Hey Hey, its alright. I'm Cho Chang Ya'll.**

Everyone was laughing their heads off. "Really," Cho cried," I talk nothing like that. I'm not southern."

"Calm down," Ginny said," it's like me and my character. We're so different it's funny."

**HARRY: She is totally perfect.**

**RON: Too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory though Huh?**

Everyone bowed their heads and Cho had tears in her eyes.

**HARRY: What? Who the hell is Cedric Diggory? Who is that guy? What is he, who is he?**

"We get it," Snape said," you don't know who he is!"

**CEDRIC: (Enter Cedric pushing Harry and Ron Out of the way) Oh Cho Chang, I am so in love with Cho Chang! From Bangcock to Ding Dang! I sing my love aloud, for Cho Chang! (Exit while running after Cho and posse)**

"He didn't really do that, did he?" Draco asked, fear in his eyes.

"No," Cho laughed," if he did, I would have broken up with and ran away screaming."

**HARRY: Man I hate that guy! I hate him!**

Harry was then hit by three pillows.

**RON: So are we going to go get them robes or not!**

**GINNY: Yes alright! I'm coming!**

**RON: God sister! **

"You are mean," Ginny yelled at her brother.

"it's not me!"

**(Exit Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. Enter Neville from right and Crabbe and Goyle from left)**

**GOYLE: (Bumping into Neville) Present your arm nerd! **

"He talks," Draco said, confused.

(**Neville puts arm out) Indian-burn hex!**

"He knows a spell."

(**ENTER TRIO AND GINNY)**

**RON: Oh, Crabbe and Goyle.**

**HARRY: (walks up to Crabbe and Goyle) Hey why don't you leave Neville Longbottom alone?**

**GOYLE: Well, if it isn't Harry Potter. You think all because your famous, you can boss everyone around!**

Everyone chuckled. Harry was nothing like that.

**HARRY: No I just don't think its cool for guys like you picking on guys like Neville, I mean c'mon.**

**GOYLE: Well, you know what I think? I think glasses are for nerds!(Goyle take Harrys glasses) We hate nerds! (Breaks glasses)**

**CRABBE: And girls!**

**RON: Oh, you don't mess with Harry Potter, he defeated the Dark Lord when he was just a baby.**

"You say that as you're cowering behind me," Hermione chuckled.

**HERMIONE: Alright, everyone just calm down. Occulus Reparo! (Glasses are fixed)**

**HARRY: Whoa cool!**

"You really need to learn that spell," Hermione said.

"I know it. I just forget it when I need it," Harry claimed. Boys!

**HERMIONE: Now, lets leave these big Baby childish jerks alone!**

"Nice insult, Hermione," Draco smirked, then saw everyone staring at him. "What?"

"You called me Hermione."

"So," Draco said, blushing,"that's you name, right?"

"Yes, but, erh, never mind."

**DRACO: (Enters from left) Did somebody say Draco Malfoy? **

For a single second, there was utter silence. Not a word. No birds sang. No cars beeped. No dogs barked. Then, all Hades broke lose(**A/N: Percy Jackson reference:))**. Everyone was laughing, even Snape. Dumbledore was on full twinkle mode. Draco Malfoy was a GIRL!

"Oh my god." "What the hell?" were the general sentences thrown around. Ron and Harry were rolling on the floor. Ginny knocked her soda, which had its cap screwed on, off the table. Cho had somehow ended up laughing so hard, she was upside down in her chair. Hermione had her arm on Draco's shoulder to keep from falling on the floor, and she had tears flowing down her cheeks. Draco was red in the face from laughing, too. It was funny!

Dumbledore was chuckling and the light in his eyes were very close to the brightness of the sun. Snape had a weird laugh, it was Ha-ha-ha but deep, broken, and scratchy. Once everyone had calmed down(which was a half-hour later) everyone was seated in the same place._  
_

**Crabbe Goyle, be a pip and go pay for my robes will you. So Potter, back for another year at Hogwarts are you? Well maybe this year, you'll wisen up and hang out with a higher caliber wizard? (strikes funny pose)**

Everyone was laughing, more from what had happened a little while ago.

**HARRY: No way Malfoy! Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole wide world and I wouldn't trade them for anything. (puts arms around them and ginny tries to join but Ron pushes her away)**

"Really, Ron."

"Sorry."

**DRACO: Have it your way then. Wait- Don't tell me! Red hair, hand-me-down clothes and a stupid complexsion. You must be a Weasley!**

"So?" Ron and Ginny asked.

"Sorry," Draco said," Dad just taught me that since I was born. You guys seem cool. Though, I can't say the same for Percy." The two glared at the mention of Percy. But everyone had one thing on their minds. What had happened to Draco Malfoy? Like I said earlier, you could keep reading, read the summary, or read my profile. I added a choice.

"**RON: Oh my God, lay off Malfoy! She may be a pain in the ass okay, But she's my pain in the ass!**

"Again, I had no idea you cared so much," Ginny said.

**DRACO: Well isn't this cute! Its like a little loser family!**

"Forget the loser part, and you'd be right," Harry said.

(**Exit Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny and enter Crabbe and Goyle) Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs. Luckily next year, I'll be transfered to Pigfarts!**

"How do you know of Pigfarts?" Dumbledore asked, jokingly.

"I've never heard of such a thing."

(**starts to sing) This year you'll bet, I'm gonna get out of here, the reign of Malfoy is drawing near. I'll have the greatest wizard career, and its gonna be Totally Awesome!**

"Not me, too," Draco said gravely.

**Look out world for the dawn of the day, where everyone will do Whatever I say, and Potter wont be in my way. And then I'll be the one who is totally awesome!**

**GOYLE: Yeah you'll be the one who is totally Awesome!**

**CHOO CHOO!**

**HERMIONE: C'mon guys we're gonna miss the train!**

"Don't want that to happen again," Harry and Ron said.

**(cast comes on stage and forms thress lines and act as a train)**

**ALL:(SING) Who knows how fast, this years gonna go? Hand me a glass let the butterbeer flow.**

"I could use some butter beer," Ginny said. Just as she said it, eight butter beers appeared on the table.

**HARRY: Maybe at last, I'll talk to Cho!**

**RON: No way that would be way too awesome!**

Everyone laughed at that.

**ALL: We've come to learn everything that we can. Its great to come back to where we began. And he we are, and ALAKAZAM! Here we go, this is totally awesome! (the train separates and some grab benches and get into two lines facing each other.) So come and teach us everything you know. The summers over and we are itching to go. (everybody stops)**

**NEVILLE: I think we're ready for, Albus Dumbledor!**

**ALL: Ahhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhh (Enter Dumbledor)**

**DUMBLEDOR: Welcome!**

Everyone was laughing. It wasn't as funny as Draco, but it was still pretty funny. The guys had a fake beard, purple robe and hat, and was wearing sandals.

(**Holds the come for 9beats) All of you to Hogwarts! I welcome all of you to school. Did you know that here at Hogwarts, we've got a hidden swimming pool! **

"Do we?" Ron asked.

"Maybe, if you asked for one while passing the room of requirement."

**Welcome welcome welcome Hogwarts. Welcome hotties nerds and tools. Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts, (Speaks) I'd like to go over just a couple of rules. My name is Albus Dumbledor and I am Headmaster of Hogwarts. You can all call me Dumbledor, well I suppose you could also call me Albus if you wanted a detention, Nah I'm just kidding, I'll expell you if you call me Albus!**

"Really?" Harry asked.

"Do you want to bet it?"

(**albus moves to the back of the stage)**

**ALL: Back to witches and wzards and magical beasts, to goblin and ghosts and some magical feasts. Its all that I love and its all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts. Back to spells and enchantments potions and friends, To-**

**GRIFFINDORS: Griffindor!**

All the Gryiffindors cheered.

**HUFFLEPUFFS: Hufflepuff!**

**RAVENCLAWS: Ravenclaw!**

Cho smiled,"Woho."

**SLYTHERINS: Slytherin!**

Draco just smirked.

**ALL: Back to the place where our story begins, at Hogwarts, Hogwarts!**

**DUMBLEDOR: I'm sorry, what's its name?**

**ALL: Hogwarts, Hogwarts!**

**DUMBLEDOR: I didn't hear you kids!**

**ALL: Hogwarts, Hogwarts!**

**HARRY: Man I'm glad I'm back! (casts stands at the front of stage with wands in air**)

Everyone cheered. Ron went back to chanting," Next scene, next scene." It was annoying. Harry went to get the next scene ready.

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**Please review!**


	4. Act 1 Scene 3

**Disclaimer: If I said i owned this stuff, I'd go to Azkaban.**

**A/N: I'm thinking of changing my name into TheImmortalWhiteWolf. What do you think? Also, this is a random thought; I wonder if any ones tried to do a story where the characters read about how we think they'd react to a Very Potter Musical.**

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Once Harry figured out how to work the TV, the next scene started up, so he had to run to his sit.

**(Everybody sits down in their respective areas)**

**DUMBLEDORE: Yes, yes, welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts! And a very special welcome back to my favourite student, Mr harry Potter (RON: Woo!). **

Ron was doing the same thing as the Ron on screen. "Ron," Hermione yelled,"be quiet. We don't need another noise complaint from the neighbors!' Everyone turned to look at her. "What?"

"How did you get the first one?" Draco asked.

"I had something to do with it," Ginny said. Everyone looked at the two for an explanation. "We were, um, having an obsession day."

Harry had a look of understanding on his face, while everyone looked confused, so he explained,"An obsession day is a day where you and a friend find everything you obsess over and read or watch it. They're usually very loud." (**AN: those are real. Me and my friends have them a lot.)** Everyone just nodded and chuckled.

**He defeated Voldemort when he was just a baby, and he's even got that little lightning scar on his forehead to prove it.**

Harry started to try and flatten his hair over his scar. Ginny swatted his hand away and did it for him. But her way involved a pink, little bow.

** And also another special welcome to the newest addition of Griffindor! Mr Ginny**

"Hey!" Ginny yelled at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore chuckle and said,"In my character's defence, you have six older brothers. It is weird seeing a female Weasley." Ginny just huffed.

-** Excuse Me, Ms Ginny Weasley.**

**GINNY: Yeah, I'm a girl...**

"Yeah, I am!"

** But, aren't we supposed to be sorted by the uhh, Sorting hat?**

"That is a good point," Harry said," I like the sorting hat. Where is he?"

"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough," Hermione calmed her friend. Over a hat. Yep, Harry was offically going insane.

**DUMBLEDORE: Yes, well a funny thing happened to the sorting hat. He actually got hitched with another piece of Magical enchanted clothing. So he and the scarf of sexual preference,**

Everyone looked at Dumbledore like he was Santa Claus. "I want one," everyone yelled.

"Yeah," Cho said,"Harry'd be Red-heads only-"

"And," Harry cut in," Hermione would be waiting 'till marriage-"

"And," Hermione said," Ron would be undecided on gender!"

Everyone laughed. Who knew Hermione could be so funny? Sirusly, who knew?

** wont be back 'till next year. So basically, I've been putting anybody who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor,**

The Gryffindors whooped and hollered. They were the good guys! Except for Wormtail.

** anybody who looks like a bad guy in Slytherin**

"Draco isn't a bad guy!" Hermione cried. Realizing she said that aloud, she started turning a nice maroon color.

"Thanks," Draco smile, causing her to blush even more. Ginny was laughing at her friend. She had no idea how to handle a crush. Like she did!

**and the other two can just go wherever the hell they want I really don't care.**

Che huffed. At least Dumbledore wasn't really like that.

**CEDRIC: Hufflepuffs, are particularly good finders!**

"They are?" Dumbledore asked. And here I was thinking he knew everything!

**DUMBLEDORE: What the hell is a Hufflepuff?**

Everyone was laughing their heads off. But they knew they should never tell Tonks. One of two things would happen. One, they'd be killed. Two, they would learn the entire history of Hufflepuff house. No one knew which was worse.

**Anyway, it is now time for me to introduce to you my very good friend and our very own potions professor, Mr. Severus Snape.**

Harry and Ron smirked. They couldn't wait to see Snape. It would be totally awesome.

**RON: Ugh man, I hope they fire that guy!**

Snape glared at the red head. He obviously didn't know a good teacher when he saw one.

**GINNY: Why? Whats wrong with Professor Snape?**

"Thank you, Miss Weasley," Snape said. Yeah, Snape said thanks. Wow.

**RON: Uh, Nothing he's just, uh, evil! (Enter Snape)**

Everyone was trying not to laugh. The guy on screen had a very obvious wig on, and had a frown that you just can't explain. But then, Hermione lost it. She had decided to take a sip of butter beer before Snape went on stage. Now, she had it in her mouth, afraid if she swallowed, it would somehow make her laugh. Then, she did an accidental spit take, and started laughing uncontrollably. Then, everyone laughed. And laughed. And laughed. It took five minutes for everyone to calm done.

**HARRY: Oh, come he's really not that bad.**

That time, Snape refused to say thanks. After all, it was just a musical.

**SNAPE: Harry Potter! (dragging out each word) Detention!**

Everyone chuckled.

**HARRY: What?**

**SNAPE: For talking out of turn!**

Seems like something he'd do, Harry thought.

** Now before we begin, I'm going to give you all your very very first, Pop-Quiz. (students groan except hermione) Can anybody tell me what a portkey is? Oh Yes Miss Granger?**

**"**A portkey is a magically enchanted object that when touched will transport the one or ones that touch it to anywhere in the globe decided upon by the enchanter," Hermione said, "Sorry, it's a habit." Everyone chuckled at their beloved bookworm.

**HERMIONE:.****A portkey is a magicaly enchanted object that when touched will transport the one or ones that touch it to anywhere in the globe ****decided u****pon by the ench****anter**

"Not freaky at all..."

**SNAPE: Oh Very good. Now can anybody tell me what foreshaddowing is? Oh yes Miss Granger?**

"Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story to return later in a more significant way," Hermione said, then hit herself with a pillow.

**HERMIONE: Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story to return later in a more significant way.**

Everyone stared at Hermione. What? It was freaky. Tell me that isn't freaky.

**SNAPE: Perfect!**

"That was the perfect definition," Snape said.

**RON: What was a portkey again I missed that one.**

Ron was nodding. Honestly, did the guy ever listen.

**HERMIONE: Oh, A portkey (RON: not you, oh my god) Is an enchanted object that when touched will transport you anywhere in the globe.**

Everyone laughed at how Ron reacted, then laughed at how a pillow randomly plopped itself on Ron's head. He looked around, trying to find the culprit. Poor Ron.

**SNAPE: And remember a portkey can be any harmless object, like a football. Or a dolphin.**

"That'd be awesome," Harry said, grinning.

**LAVENDER: Professor? Can like a person be a portkey?**

**SNAPE: No thats obsurd! Because if a person were to touch themselves (looks pointedly at Ron)**

Ron looked exactly like the Ron on screen. Everyone was laugh, except Ginny, who was muttering,"I didn't need to know that."

** they would constantly be transported into different places. A person can however be a Horcrux.**

"What's a horcrux?" Harry asked.

**HARRY: What's a, what's a Horcrux?**

"Potter," Snape said,"don't repeat yourself!"

"Why didn't you yell at Hermione?!"

"She was answering my question."

**SNAPE: I'm not even going to tell you Harry, you'll find out soon enough.**

Dumbledore paled consideralbly.(sp)

**HERMIONE: Professor what is the point of this quiz?**

"Hermione Granger," Harry exclaimed.

"Asking the point of a quiz," Ron continued.

"What has happened to the world?" they asked together.

"Shut up," Ginny said," you aren't Fred and George!"

**SNAPE: Oh no no no point in particular, just important information that everyone should know. Especially you! Now, moving right along, there are four houses. Gryffindor (Woo!),**

The Gryffindors whooped and hollered.

**Ravenclaw (OW!)**

Cho just yelled,"Woo hop!"

**Hufflepuff(CEDRIC: Find-) What?**

**and Slytherin. (Yesss)**

Draco smirked and nodded.

**Now traditionally, traditionally points are given for good behaviour and deducted for rule breaking. Example! Ten Points from Gryffindor!**

"What?!" they all screamed at Snape, but he refused to give the excuse of,"it's not me."

**GRYFFINDOR: What?**

**SNAPE: For Miss Grangers excessive baby fat.**

"Meany!" Ginny yelled.

Finally, under the red heads glare, he caved in,"It's not me!"

**RON+HARRY: Thanks Hermione.**

Harry and Ron gulped, but were spared. Ginny was off in Lala land. Probably thinking of Harry. Yeah.

**SNAPE: Traditionally the house with the most points at the end of the year would win the House Cup! However this year we are doing things a bit differently. And here to introduce it, is our new professor of the Dark Arts,**

"You mean defense against the dark arts, right?"

** Professor Quirrel! (Enter Quirrel)**

The trio glared at at the screen, until they saw Quirrel, who had a turban on, but it was obviously hiding someone(**A\N; Sorry, bad description, but I ****don't know how to describe him).** Everyone, even Ginny, who never knew the professor, was laughing at the screen.

**HARRY: Ow! OW! Ow!**

**HERMIONE: Harry, what's wrong?**

**HARRY: Ow! Ow! Jesus!**

"Yes, yes," Harry said, seeing how as everyone was staring at him weirdly,"I know my character is over dramatic."

"That wasn't what we were going to say," Hermione commented.

"No,"Draco continued,"what we were going to say is that if you acted like that all the time, you'd have zero friends." Everyone nodded their head in agreement.

**QUIRREL: The House Cup. A time honored tradition. For centuries- (DRACO:Go home terrorist! 'acting innocent') **

Everyone was laughing. Again. "Oh my God," Harry gasped," why can't you be more funny like that Draco is, Draco?"

Draco, who was going red from laughter, just shook his head.

**For centuries the four house of Hogwarts have competed for the honor and glory of House Champion. But where does this tradition come from, and what are the . . . roots of the competetion?**

**HERMIONE: The House Cup tournament began with the first generation of Hogwarts students.**

"Who knew?" Ron asked.

"Well, obviously you didn't, so now you do," Hermione said, not picking up on Ron's sarcasm.

**QUIRREL: That was a rhitorical question.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger quit interrupting, twenty points from Gryffindor.**

**RON: Thanks Hermione.**

Ron was then hit by two pillows. The Grangers had A LOT of pillows in their living room.

**QUIRREL: As I was saying, when the competetion first originated it was that of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four houses would complete a series of dangerous tasks and challenges. The winner would not only win the cup (pause for dramatic effect for 2 seconds) but they would also win eternal glory.**

"So," Harry scowled,"the Triwizard tournament."

**HERMIONE: Kind of like a House Cup- or no like a Triwizard tournament.**

"See," Harry said,"Hermione agrees with me."

"First of all," Hermione commented," no one disagreed with you. Second, tri means three. I know you a made four, but normally, there are only three."

**QUIRREL: Yes, sort of like a Triwizard tournament- except, no not like that at all. There are four houses, how can it be the Triwizard Tournament with four teams?**

"See," Hermione smiled,"the professor agrees with me."

**HERMIONE: Wel, er, Professor if I remember correctly, the House Cup tournament was disbanded after one semester, when one of the students was killed during the first task.**

Everyone bowed there heads. Poor Cedric.

**QUIRREL: Yes. It is very dangerous, but the rewards far out weigh the risks.**

Cho glared at the screen. Nothing outweighed the tragedy of death.

**HERMIONE: I don't think you heard me. I just said somebody died!**

Cho smiled at Hermione. Even though it was just a musical, she knew Hermione was like that. She mouthed 'Thanks' over to her. Hermione just smiled at her friend.

**DUMBLEDORE: Hermione Granger, shut your ungodly lop-sided mouth and quit interrupting! Twenty more points!**

Ginny, Cho, And Hermione did something even the Dark Lord himself would never do. They threw pillows at Dumbledore.

**HARRY: Thanks Hermione.**

**DUMBLEDORE: God! For the smartest witch of your age, you really can be a dumbass sometimes! **

Harry and Ron smiled at each other. "But there's no wood," They said in a bad impression of Hermione. She just rolled her eye at the boys. Everyone else just stared at the screen.

**(students laugh) Ten points to Dumbledor!**

**QUIRREL: Yes, yes, well it will be very dangerous, but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come. And as the professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts, I believe that a practical application is exactly what the corriculen needs to-**

**VOLDY: AH CHOO!**

"Oh my wizard God," Ginny said,"that wasn't-"

"It was," hermione cut in.

"He didn't-"

"He did."

"Who knew he could do that?"

"No one."

**DUMBLEDORE: Did your turban just sneaze?**

**"**No," Draco said," It was lord McVoldyShorts." Everyone looked at him like he was insane. Hermione patted him on the head. At least something good happened...

**QUiRREL****: Wh-what? No.**

**DUMBLEDORE: I could have sworn I heard a sneaze coming from your dirrection but your mouth wasn't moving.**

**QUIRREL: No, Sorry that was simply a fart, excuse me. (starts to leave)**

Everyone was just laughing. What the word fart did to teenagers.

**VOLDY: AH CHOO! (bumps into harry)**

**HARRY: OW OW Ahh Jesus! (VOLDY: AH CHOO!)**

**QUIRREL: I must be going.**

**VOLDY: AH CHOO!**

**QUIRREL: I simply farted once more, excuse me.**

Finally, everyone was silent, but the word fart made them start laughing all over again.

**DUMBLEDORE: In Order of the newly ressurected house cup, a champion from each house will be selected to compete. So Snape, will you do the honors?**

**SNAPE: (Carrying cup) Yes Headmaster. (dramatically pulls out a slip of paper) First from the Ravenclaw House; A Miss Cho Chang!**

"Really?" Cho asked.

"You'll be great," Ginny and Hermione said.

**CHO: Oh, My god I won, I can't believe it ya'll I won!**

**SNAPE: A next from Hufflepuff (pulls paper out) Mr Cedric Diggory.**

**CEDRIC: Well, I don't FIND this surprising at all.**

Everyone just had to roll there eyes. That joke was old.

**CHO: I find it perfect 'cause now I can spend more time with my beloved boyfriend.**

**CEDRIC: I am glad as well my darling.**

Cho looked like she was going to puke. She didn't like really romantic stuff.

**SNAPE: A next, from the Slytherin house, (pulls slip out) A Draco Malfoy!**

**DRACO: Oh! Ho! I finally beat you didn't I Potter. What do you think of that huh?(goes over to gryffs and starts rolling all over them.) I'm the champion this time! (rolls onto floor)**

Everyone was started to like Draco a bit. Probably because of his characters hilariousness. Yeah, that was it. Them actually liking him was as likely as him and Hermione dating. He he...

**DUMBLEDORE: Draco sit down you little shit, champions just a title.**

"Please be more like this Dumbledore," Ron said. Everyone stared at him. If that guy on screen was in charge, Hogwarts would be in trouble.

**SNAPE: And finally from the Gryffindor House (pulls slip) Oh my. Well isn't this curious? The one person in all of Hogwarts whom I have a very well known grudge against, is suddenly in a tournament where he very may well, lose his life.**

**NEVILLE: If-If its me, I'll just appolagise to my fellow Gryffindors right now for losing.**

Everyone laughed at the guy.

**SNAPE: Sit down, you inaticualte bumbler**

"What?"

**. Its Harry Potter!**

**RON: WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO!**

**HARRY: All right!**

**DUMBLEDORE: Well, here they are folks, the four Hogwarts champions, and I want all of you to start preparing imediately because the first task is in two months, and it could be anything. So lets get to it! Haha!**

**STUDENTS: Cho Chang! Cho Chang! Cho Chang! (Draco: Malfoy! Malfoy! Hey!)**

"Poor Draco," Harry said, laughing as he went to change the scenes.

* * *

**Please review.**


	5. Act 1 Scene 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Trust me, if I did, Draco and Hermione would be together, not ****Ron. Siriusly, what does she see in him? If you read this, please answer that question.**

**A\N: Hey guys. I just adopted this Dramione fic, so I may not be able to update as much. If you're interested in it, look on my profile for it. It's called To win her heart.****  
**

* * *

Harry sat down, ready for more torture….I mean fun. Yes, fun.

**RON: Harry, you got this tournament in bag.**

**HARRY: I don't know man, Cedric Diggory is kinda awesome- NOT He sucks! **

"Harry," Cho cried,"how could you say that?!"

"It's not me!"

**I'm totally gonna win this, its in the bag! (Ron and Harry Hi-5)**

"What's the 'bag'?" Draco asked.

"It's an American muggle expression," Hermione explained,"it means something is really easy(**A/N: I have no idea if that's what it really means, and I'm American!**) Draco nodded, seeming to understand.

**HERMIONE: I don't know about this Harry.**

**RON: Oh my god Hermione, shut up! ****(Mouth full of food) ****Why do you have to rain on everybodys parade?**

"I do not!" Hermione argued.

"Ugh- Midnight duel!-" Harry coughed.

"-Firebolt-" Ron coughed.

"-Triwizard tournament-" Harry coughed. Hermione huffed.

**HERMIONE: Because Ron, this is dangerous.**

**HARRY: Dangerous? Oh come on Hermione how dangerous could it be? Especially for me?**

**HERMIONE: Wh-Your not invincible Harry, somebody died in this tournament.**

**HARRY: I'm the Boy-That-Lived not Died. God! Whats the worst that could happen?**

"You could die," Draco said. He was ignored by Harry, who was laughing at something.

"Harry," Ginny said,"what's so funny?"

Harry stopped laughing. "Oh," he said,"that just reminded me of this weird joke Fred and George told me once. It was something like 'I'm not afraid of Death. What's the worst it can do? Kill me." Harry went back to laughing, while everyone looked at him like he was crazy.

**HERMIONE: And I don't know**

"Hermione doesn't know something," Ron yelled, shocked, "this is the end!"**  
**

"Shut up," Hermione said, throwing one of her dad's dentist books at the crazy red-head. Maybe it would give him smartness. Probably not, but you can't blame a girl for trying.

** about that Quirrel character. **

"Oh," Ron nodded,"that makes more sense."

**You know, first he reserects a horrible ancient tournament, then- then he bumps into you and your scar starts to hurt,**

"Well," Harry said," in his defense, my scars hurting all the time now a days."

** and you have got to admit that there is something really funky about the back of his head.**

"I have not said the terrible vocabulary word in my entire life," Hermione glared at the screen, causing everyone to inch away from her…slowly.

**HARRY: Come on think about it. Profesor Quirrel is a Profesor and who hires the profesors?**

**HARRY+RON: Dumbledore!**

**HARRY: Who is the smartest, most awesomest, most practical (RON: Beautiful) wizard, beautiful wizard in the whole world.**

"Thank you Mister Potter and Mister Weasley," Dumbledore smiled at the young students. Well, compared to him, young. I wonder how old Dumbledore truly is.

**Why would he possibly hire somebody who is trying to hurt me?**

**HERMIONE: Well, err what about Snape?**

"What about me?" Snape snapped.

"Nothing," Hermione said," it's just during our first year…it kind of seemed like you were trying to steal the stone, not Quirrel." Snape's scowl lightened once he heard her explanation. He wasn't exactly cut and cuddly.

**HARRY: Yeah what about him?**

"You and Snape think alike!" the youngest Weasely boy said to his best friend.

"Mister Weasley," Snape yelled,"never say anything like that ever again. Ten points from Gryffindor."

"Sir," Hermione squeak,"it's still summer break."

"Then ten points from Gryffindor when you return!"

**HERMIONE: He's hated you for years Harry, and he's hated your parents**

Snape looked down. He could never hate Lily, but how could those muggles know who he hated and who he loved. It wasn't like they had a book filed with the adventure of people at Hogwarts. That would be absurd!

** too everyone knows that! ****And he just so happens to pick your name out of the House Cup out of hundreds if not 5 possible Gryffindors.**

Everyone giggled at the _huge_ selection of Gryffindors they had.

**HARRY: Yeah what a coincidence? **

"No it isn't," Ginny said.

**HERMIONE: No**

"Yay," Ginny said,"we think alike." The two girls then started grinning like the Cherstery(sp) cat.

**HARRY: We lucked out!**

Everyone threw a pillow at the scar-headed boy.

**HERMIONE: No Harry I don't think it is a coincidence. When you defeated Voldemort, you made a lot of enemies,**

"To true," Harry said, then received many sad looks.

** (HARRY: Okay) Ones you might not even know about.**

**HARRY: Alright, so let me get this straight. You think that this tournament is just one big ploy to try to kill me?**

"Yep,"all the girls said. Wow, those three are smart, aren't they.

**RON: God, stupid!**

"What did you call me?" Hermione asked.

"Nothing," Ron squeaked, inching away from Hermione.

**HERMIONE: Umm I don't know, maybe! Anyway, I-I just think its dangerous and I don't think you should do it.**

**HARRY: Alright Hermione, if it means that much to you. I'll drop out.**

"What the hell!" Hermione said,"That was all it took?"

"Hermione Granger, you just cursed," Ron and Harry yelled.

"Yeah, get over it, just because you don't see this side of me, doesn't mean it doesn't exist," Hermione shot back, causing the two boys to gulp. No matter how good of friends they were, Hermione was bloody scary sometimes.

**HERMIONE: Oh, Thank you Harry! (hugs him)**

**RON: Wait wait wait wait -WHAT? The HOUSE CUP? What about all the eternal glory you'd win? I mean come on!**

"Ron," Harry looked at his best mate,"I technically already have eternal glory."

"True, true."

**HARRY: Hey hey, eternal glory? Already got that. ****Besides Neville will make a great champion.**

Everyone cracked a smile at that mental image. Then, they frowned. If Neville took on the Hungarian Horntail, he would be burned alive in five seconds flat.

**RON: NO no no no! I do not want Shlongbottom to be my champion.**

"Really Ronald," Hermione said to her friend,"you should apologize to Neville next time you see him."

**HERMIONE: Harry, all you have to do- Oh look theres Dumbledore (enter Dumbledore) Why don't you go talk to him and tell him that your dropping out?**

**HARRY: Uhh, listen Hermione. Me and Dumbledore are really really super super tight **

"We are?" the two asked at the same time.

**a****nd I don't want him to think that I'm being lazy or anything, so can you tell- why don't you tell him? Tell him I want to work on school or something. Alright? Hey, you got this (pokes her nose) **

"If you ever so much of thinking of doing that-"

"Yeah, I know Hermione, you'll slap me."

"No, I'll hex your balls off." This caused every boy, no matter the age, to cover that spot. This also caused Ginny and Cho to give Hermione high-5s.

**Your the best, (HERMIONE: alright) You got this.**

**HERMIONE: Okay. Dumbledore?**

**DUMBLEDORE: Yes Granger?**

**HERMIONE: Err, I need to talk to you about the, um, House Cup tournament. First of all I think its an awful idea.**

"I wonder why awful is spelled like that," Draco commented out of the blue.

"What?" Ginny asked.

"I guess it is confusing," Hermione agreed," 'awe' means to be inspired, and the suffix 'full' means full of, so awful should mean full of inspiration, not something terrible." The boys looked at the two wondering what brought up the strange conversation. The girls looked at the two thinking that they'd be a great couple.

**But second of all, I-I don't think that Harry Potter should compete.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger, why do you always gotta be a good 'ol stick in the mud huh? **

"Yeah, 'Mione,"Ron yelled,"why are you such a stick in the mud?"

"Ask me that again, and I'll break both of your legs. Okay?"

"Okay."

**Pray tell why Harry Potter shouldn't compete?**

**HERMIONE: Uhh, Well because he uhh, wants to study.**

"Hermione," Cho said kindly,"except for you and us Ravenclaws, no one studies at Hogwarts."

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger, nobody studdies here at Hogwarts except for you.**

"Cho," Ron said,"you think like Dumbledore."

"There are worse things to think like."

**HERMIONE: Well, uhh okay. He wants to focus on the OWLs.**

"We just took them," Harry laughed,"why should I focus on them."

"Obviously they aren't in they're fifth year."

"Yeah," Ron said,"and if it's Hermione giving the excuse, then it would make total sense to her to give the excuse in our first year."

"Well," Hermione defended,"there's never right time to study, so I should be able to study when I want. And it isn't our first year, because Harry knows what Hogwarts is. So, that leaves the second, third, and fourth year."

She had all that in one breath, causing everyone to scream,"Breath, lady!"

**DUMBLEDORE: Why couldn't Harry have told me this himself? He thinks I'm cool, we're tight.**

"We are?"

**HERMIONE: Okay, I'm a really bad liar. Okay, I think its a ruse. A set up, and I think that maybe Snape might be trying to kill Harry Potter.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Severus Snape is one of the kindest, bravest, gentlest, sexiest man I have ever met. **

"The mental images," Ginny, Cho, Hermione screamed at the same time. They started hugging themselves and rocking back and forth. Those three poor girls...

**Severus Snape is trying to kill Harry Potter about as much as he is trying to kill me. **

**SNAPE: Oh Profesor Dumbledore, I was just in the kitchen and I decided to make you this delicious sandwich. (Sandwich is a bomb)**

"Oh good lord," Hermione muttered.

"What is that?" Draco asked, pointing at the sandwich.

"It's a sandwich," Ron said simply.

"No. The thing between the sandwich."

"That's a bomb," Hermione answered,"it's a device that will explode at a set time. It's like the spell confringo."

"Thanks," Draco smiled. Okay, this is starting to get weird...

**DUMBLEDORE: Ohhh, why thank you Severus, you see Granger how thoughtful.**

**SNAPE: Here you are Preofesor, Bomb apetite- I mean Bone apetite. (Snape runs off stage)**

**HERMIONE: Umm, is that sandwhich ticking?**

**DUMBLEDORE: It looks like its licking. Finger-licking good.**

"Oh my God," Harry shook his head at the old man.

"Does anyone else want a sandwich now?" Ron asked, which got a lot of yeses.

"I'll make some after the scene is over," Hermione said.

**HERMIONE: Profesor, I don't think you should eat that sandwhich.**

"Yeah," Cho said,"listen to the girl with the crazy hair." She then got hit by a pillow.

**DUMBLEDORE: Why Granger? You gotta listen to Snape more often, you might even get a sandwich out of it. (Hermione grabs sandwhich) Granger what the hell- (Hermione runs off stage with it) Granger! What are you doing?(Explosion hapens) You don gone exploded my sandwhich!**

Everyone was laughing as the scene unfolded, but there was one simple thought on everyone's mind. Never let Fred and George see this. They'd do a much better job of hiding the bomb than Snape.

**HERMIONE: I'm sorry sir!**

**DUMBLEDORE: Hey. Even if I did happen to know that Harry Potter was in danger, he would still have to compete. You see that cup?**

"Yep," all the boys answered. Yes, even Snape.

**HERMIONE: Yes!**

**DUMBLEDORE: Its Enchanted. Whoevers name comes out of the cup has to compete or the results would be bad.**.

**HERMIONE: What do you mean bad?**

**DUMBLEDORE: Well, try to imagine your entire life stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.**

"A total platonic reversal," Hermione gasped,"I guess Harry would have to do it then."

**HERMIONE: A total platonic reversal!**

Everyone stared at Hermione. "How the hell did you get that right?" Ginny asked.

"Let's just say, I thought Science College books were fun to read."

**DUMBLEDORE: Yeah, so you see Harry Potter has to compete. And Hermione if it makes you feel any better, the last person to die in this tournament was a Hufflepuff,**

"Not the best thing you could have said," Cho mumbled sadly.

** so umm, I'll keep my eyes open, and nothings gonna get past old Dumbledore. N****ow I gotta go make myself another sandwhich, but I don't know how it will be better than the last one, that one ticked! (Exit Dumbledore)**

Everyone rolled their eyes at the old man.

**HERMIONE: Because it was a bomb. (walks over to boys)**

Cue cuckles.

** Harry, I'm so sorry but I think your gonna have to compete in the House Cup tournament. But don't worry, I wont rest until I find out what the first task is.**

"And you won't even look at the notes," Hermione mumbled.

"Twenty pages, Hermione," Harry said,"And you have small hand writing. That thing could have counted as a book, I swear." Hermione flicked her friend in the eye after that peaceful conversation.

**RON: And I'll sabotage all the other champions so you win by default.**

"I should have done that," Ron said mournfully.

"It's okay," Harry said," Fred and George did that for me."

**HARRY: Alright! You guys are awesome!**

"We know," the red-head and brunette said at the same time.

**(Enter Crabbe and Goyle with Goyle carrying Draco)**

"What the hell?" Ron said.

**DRACO: Well, isn't this touching?**

**RON: Oh my god just but out Malfoy. (Draco starts rolling all over the floor)**.

"Oh Merlin," Draco groaned as everyone laughed. Why couldn't his character have some dignity?

**DRACO: Father and I have a bet you know. He thinks you wont last five minuets in this tournament. I disagree. I think you wont last five minuets at Pigfarts!**

"What's Pigfarts?" Ginny asked.

**HARRY: Alright, Malfoy, what- what is Pigfarts?**

"Ah," Hermione said," you two think alike. How cute." This caused Harry and Ginny to both blush.

**DRACO: Oh never heard of it? Figures, famous Potter doens't even know about Pigfarts.**

**HARRY: Malfoy, don't act like you don't want to talk about it. Thats like the tenth time you've mentioned it so what is Pigfarts?**

"It's the third time, actually," Hermione said.

**DRACO: Pigfarts, is only the greatest wizardrying school in th galaxy. Its where I'm being transfered next year.**

**HERMIONE: Malfoy, I have never heard of that.**

**DRACO: Thats because Pigfarts…...is on Mars!**

"Well that makes perfect sense," Harry said.

"How would someone get to Mars?" Draco asked. That red planet was thousands of miles away.

"Rocket ship," Harry and Hermione said, then turned to each other,"Jinx, double jinx, triple jinx, quadruple jinx." Then, they both started thinking until Harry said," Draw?" and Hermione nodded.

"What's a rocket ship?" Draco asked, ignoring what the two friends had just done.

"It's like a broom," Hermione said,"only bigger, and it's made to go into space, not travel on Earth, or play games." Draco nodded, happy he was starting to get the things the muggles said.

**HARRY: Malfoy, you know, we are trying to have a conversation here, so if you would-**

**DRACO: Oh I'm not even here.**

**HARRY: Okay so anyway, I was thinking that maybe we could ask Dumbledore about the fist task.**

**DRACO: Dumbledore? What an old Coot! ****He's nothing like Rumbleroar.**

"Who?" was the general statement.

**GOYLE: RUMBLEROAR!**

**HARRY: Anyways I think-**

**DRACO: Rumbleroars the Headmaster of Pigfarts. He's a lion, who can talk.**

Hermione and Ginny seemed to perk up at that. A talking lion doesn't that sound familiar.

"I want to meet a talking lion," Ron yelled.

"I know where you can find on," Hermione said, and everyone, minus Ginny and Ron, looked at her like she was crazy. "His name is Aslan and he lives in Narnia. You can find him and the lace he lives in, right in that wardrobe." She pointed to a wardrobe that looked exactly like the one in the movie.

"If you'll excuse me and Hermione for a moment, you can meet him Ron," Ginny said , and Hermione and her ran up the stairs.

Ron then went and ran into the wardrobe. The people left were looking at Harry. If Hermione mention that Aslan guy, he was probably a muggle thing. "Oh," Harry said,"there's a book series called the chronicles of narnia, and I think it has a talking lion in it somewhere."

Then, the two girls ran down the stair, with different t-shirts on. Ginny wore a blue shirt that just had a lamp post on it. Hermione was where a tank top that had a lion's face on it. Then, Ron ran out of the wardrobe, looking depressed. Everyone sat down as if nothing had happened.

**HARRY: If you don't mind, we are trying to have a conversation here so why don't you- what, your not even eating, get out of here!**

**DRACO: Well, I can't help it if we can hear everything you say, we are the only ones in here.**

**HARRY: Malfoy can you just get out of here please?**

**DRACO: Where am I supposed to go?**

**HARRY: Uhh, I don't know? Pigfarts?**

The teens chuckled lightly at that.

**DRACO: Oh ha ha ha, now your just being cute. I can't go to Pigfarts. Its on Mars! You need a rocketship. Have you got a rocketship Potter? I bet you do. You know not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA **

"NASA?" Draco asked.

"Muggle space thing."

**when our parents died.**

_SMACK_. Hermione had, yet again, smacked Draco Malfoy. "Say your sorry," Hermione glared.

"I'm really sorry, Pott- Harry," Draco said. Harry glared at the screen, but then high-5ed Hermione.

"You're forgiven," he said.

**(Rolled all over Harry Ron and Hermione) Look, at this, look at this! Rocketship Potter, Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter, traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts.**

Everyone just shook their head at the young wizard.

**HARRY: Alright, thats it. This is the most misguided way to try and make me feel jealous.**

"Too true," Harry laughed.

** I don't care if you make fun of me, but if you bring my parents into this its a whole other**

"Or I'll…" Harry thought for a second,"leave you for Hermione." To add to the effect of that statement alone, Hermione gave her best witch's laugh. It was terrifying.

**DRACO: Whoa! Not so fast potter (Runs off behind Goyle)Crabbe Goyle! (Runs and hangs upside down on the bottom of a bench)**

"Can't my character be normal for a single second?" Draco complained.

Hermione pinched his cheek in a grandmotherish sort of way. "Of course not," she smiled,"then she'd be nothing like you." Draco responded by hitting the back of her head.

**HARRY: Oh Sure just back-**

**GOYLE: BACK OFF NERD!**

**HARRY: Whoa! Scary, scary!**

"Not really," Harry chuckled.

"You should see him when he is angry," Draco said,"Crabbe stole his chocolate frog. He was in the hospital wing for a week."

**DRACO: Not so tough now are you Potter? Maybe you should hang out with someone other than that lolly-gagging ginger and his stupid mudblood girlfriend!**

"First of all," Hermione said,"never call me that again or you will regret it. A lot. Second of all, I'm not Ron's girlfriend. He's practically my brother. My annoying, lazy, occasionally stupid, fake brother."

"Yeah," Ron agreed, then thought about what she said,"Wait! That was mean, Hermione."

**HERMIONE: Oh, That is IT Malfoy! Jelly-legs jinx! (Points wand at Crabbe and Goyle)**

"How creative," Snape rolled his eyes.

"Not very," Ron smiled at the professor.

**DRACO: Oh Come on!**

**GOYLE: Hey no fair! My legs are jelly**

"You don't say," Draco exclaimed.

** (Hermione walks over to Draco who is still hanging upside down)**

**HERMIONE: (Grabs his tie and pulls him up) Take it back Malfoy!**

**DRACO: Take what back?**

**HERMIONE: Take back what you said about your stupid made up space school!**

"What if it were real?" Draco asked innocently. Harry smiled, waiting for his friend to hurt the blonde boy.

He was disappointed when Hermione said,"I guess I'd apologize."

**RON: Yeah, and all that stuff about Hermione being my girlfriend, thats not even a little bit true.**

"Yeah," Ginny said," Hermione has standards."

Ron scrunched up his face,"Meany!"

**HERMIONE: And say your sorry for calling me a you-know-what!**

"Sorry," Draco said. Hermione just rolled her eyes and patted his head.

**DRACO: Alright I'm sorry.**

**HERMIONE: And you promise never to do it again?**

"Promise," Draco said. Hermione blushed.

**DRACO: I promise!**

**HERMIONE: Alright! Now next time we tell you to leave us alone, you better do it. Come on, Harry, Ron, lets get out of here. Besides, you already ate all my lunch.**

"Most true statement in this musical so far," Hermione said. At Ron's face, Hermione said,"I mean, Ron stole my food at the end of year feast."

"You weren't eating it!" Ron cried.

"I rest my case."

"**HARRY: Wow. Thanks Hermione.**

**HERMIONE: Yeah. UnJellyfy!**

**RON: That was like the most bad-ass thing I've ever seen, too bad nobody was here to see it though. It was like an outburst of pent-up agression (Starts to leave) It was like, Arghh! Hermione!**

The golden trio laughed. The last time Hermione a pent up aggression, she broke Malfoy's nose.

"Could you attack something other than me when you have pent up aggression?" Draco asked, not wanting another broken nose.

HWermione sighed,"I guess I'll try."

**GOYLE: Wow! That sucked royal Hipogriff. We got beat by a girl. Who's a nerd!**

"Yeah, because that girl is awesome," Ginny said.

Hermione rolled her eyes at her best friend,"Thanks, Ginny."

**DRACO: I didn't mean what I said you know. Pigfarts is real. **

"Told you!"

"No," Hermione corrected the ferret," you asked what I'd do if Pigfarts was real. You never said it was real." Draco pouted at the know-it-all.

**(starts to touch his nose checking for blood) Am I- Am I bleeding? Goyle?**

**(Goyle goes on all fours and sniffs Dracos nose)**

Everyone laughed. "Please tell me he doesn't actually do that," Cho giggled.

"Of course he doesn't!"

**GOYLE: NO!**

**DRACO: Oh, I thought maybe-maybe just a little bit (still touching his nose and seeing for blood) ****Well, I've never been pushed down like that by a girl. Maybe, I shouldn't call her a mud****- **

"You shouldn't have," Harry agreed.

**Whatever. (gets up)**

**GOYLE: I can't believe I couldn't figure out that the counter curse was just unjellyfy.**

"Well, I'm not surprised," Hermione stated.

** DRACO: Well, I'm not surprised.**

"Hermione," Ron looked like he was going to cry," you think like Malfoy."

"So?"

"That's a bad thing!"

"Who said?"

**Come on lets go watch, Wizards of Waverley Place. (exit stage)**

"What's that?" Draco asked.

"It's a kid's muggle show," Hermione stated,"it's about a family of wizards pretty much. It's I like our world more than theirs, but they have less of a chance of dying, so that might be nice."

"Not might," Ginny joked,"it would definitely be nice."

"Well," Hermione said,"does anyone want a sandwich," everyone raised their hand,"well, I'll make some and you guys can have a bathroom break."

"I'll help," Draco offered, then said at the looks he received,"What? I know how to make a sandwich, and she might need some help. Just trying to be nice."

"Okay, then," Hermione smiled,"let's go."

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**Please, please review. It helps me get ideas, which would equal faster writing. Also, some Dramione is gonna happen in the next chapter.**


	6. Act 1 Scene 5

**Disclaimer: The usual mubo jumbo. I own nothing. JK and Starkid do. I own a copy of the books and a computer to watch the play. That's it.**

**AN: HAPPY 2014! I'm super excited about, aren't you? Now that that's out of the way, I will go ahead and apologize if my Dramione is really bad. I'm usually not the best with romance. But, I tried. Oh, and Merry Christmas. What did you guys get? I got candy and books. It was a great year. And before I forget, if you haven't seen _Frozen, _you need to see it. It's by far, the best Disney movie ever. Which sister is your favorite, if you've seen it? Personally, I liked Elsa more. Anywho, enjoy the chapter!**

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As the two professors, two boys, and two girls ran towards the restroom, Draco and Hermione left to make some sandwiches. Why the musical had to make a cardboard cut-out of a delicious looking sandwich, they had no idea. But now everyone wanted one. "Could you get me the paper plates, please, Draco?" Hermione asked kindly, pointing to the pantry to show where they were.

"Would you like one?" Draco asked, wanting to know how many to get.

"Sure."

The two got everything on the counter,"Let's see," Hermione said, thinking of the things her friends eat,' Harry doesn't like any meat on a sandwich, Ron will take anything and everything, Ginny's going to try out for the Quidditch team, so as little calories as possible, and Cho is a vegetarian."

"Snape's lacoste(sp) intolerant, so no cheese, or stuff like that," Draco commented," and I'm imagining Dumbledore will like anything sweet." They set to work, Hermione making Harry's, Ron's, Ginny's, and her own, while Draco made Snape's, Dumbledore's, Cho's, and his own.

They worked in silence until Draco said," I meant what i said."

"About what?" Hermione furrowed her brow.

"About calling you a mudblood and promising never to do it again."

"Oh," was all Hermione could say. A minute later she asked, "Why?"

Now Draco was confused,"Um…erm…"

"I mean," Hermione noticed the boy's confusion," Why are you apologizing and promising to not do it again?"

"Because," Draco sighed," I meet a girl a while back, who was a muggle born. I asked my mom what to do and she said that muggle boys flirt with muggle girls by making fun of them. So I tried that by calling her a mudblood. I guess it accured to me this Summer that that strategy might not be working."

"Okay," Hermione said," but why are you apologizing to me and not the girls you have a crush on?"

"Wow," Draco chuckled,"I thought you were the brightest witch of our age, and that Ron was the oblivious one."

"He is!"

"Then you should be able to answer your question."

Hermione thought for a second then it came to her. "Oh."

"Yeah. I understand if you don't feel the same way."

Truth be told, Hermione did have feelings for the ferret. It started in third year, and just went from there. "No," she said, and stopped making Ginny's sandwich," I…. do..erm….like….you…like that…." she trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Just ask Ginny. She and I have a lot of girl talks, so we know who the other person has a crush on."

"So," Draco paused, not knowing what to say," Would you, erm, like to be my girlfriend?"

Hermione smiled, and kissed his check. He turned towards her, causing them to kiss each other right on the lips. They kissed for a few more seconds, stopped, smiled at each other, blushing slightly, and finished the sandwiches. When they returned, everyone was back in their original seating.

Once they sandwiches were passed out, right before the musical started again, Ginny said,"So, Hermione, I noticed you never answered Draco." Little had the two love birds known, Ginny had spied on them as Draco asked Hermione out.

The two teenagers blushed, but Hermione still answered,"well I guess I'll go out with you Draco." Draco smiled, until he noticed Hermione's 'brothers' whispering to each other.

They both stood up like you would if you were Percy, and Harry said formally," We have agreed to let Draco Malfoy date Hermione Granger, but we feel he should be aware of the punishment if he hurts her in any way, shape, or form."

"That punishment is," Ron said, with honey mustard running down his chin," to be Tom Riddel's, aka Lord Voldemort's, aka You-Know-Who's, aka He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's, aka The Dark Lord's, aka Your Lordship's, aka Chief Death Eater's, aka Heir of Slytherin's, aka Voldy's sex slave."

"This proclamation has been made by Harry Potter, aka The Boy Who lived, aka the Chosen One, aka The Boy Who Lied, aka The Boy Who Scored, aka Scarhead, aka Potter the Plotter, aka Saint Potter, aka Precious Potter, aka Mr. Perkins, aka Patronus Potter, aka Potty wee Potter.

"This proclamation has also been made by Ron Wealsey, aka Wheezy, aka Master of Mystery, aka Weaselbee, aka Weasel King, aka Ronnie, aka Ickle Ronniekins, aka Ickle Prefect."

"This proclamation is because of the relationship between Hermione Granger, aka Hermy, aka Herm-oh-ninny, aka Her-my-own, aka Herm-i-own, aka 'Mione, and Draco Malfoy, aka Ferret."

Once the two sat down, Ginny said," That was funny and all, but were all those 'aka's necessary."

"Yes," Harry said," so there is no loophole to get out of proclamation."

"Is it just me," Cho aske," or did anyone else forget the punishment."

When everyone nodded, the two boys said,"the punishment would be being Voldemort's sex slave." Everyone shivered at the thought.

"Now that that is finally over with," Snape said,"let's start the next scene." As if there were magic in the room, the TV started.

**(Enter Quirrel)**

**QUIRREL: Fools! They're all fools! They think they're safe.**

Everyone laughed. Quirrel looked like a fool.

**They think they're back for another fun year of learning shinanagans at Hogwarts.**

"We don't think," Harry said.

"We know," Ron continued.

"Are you sure you aren't related?" Cho asked.

"Positive."

** Little do they know of the danger that's lurking right under their noses, or should I say, On the back of their heads! (Turns around and pulls turban off)**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Ginny screamed, then hid behind Hermione. Then she looked at the guy and said,"Wow. He's kind of cute. Don't you two think?" she asked Hermione and Cho.

"He is cute," Cho giggled," don't you think Hermione?"

"Yeah. He'd be even cuter if he didn't have that makeup on." The three girls started giggling.

"First of all," Harry said," you are talking about Voldemort. Vold-e-mort. The most evil wizard in history. And you three just called him cute."

"So?" The three asked. "It's just an actor, Harry."

"Yeah, but still. Oh, and Hermione, don't you have a boyfriend?"

Hermione rolled her eyes at her friend, then kissed Draco on the cheek.

**VOLDEMORT: Arghh! (Starts to cough) ugh, ugh, ugh ugh ugh! (Quirrel bends over) Erugh! Ough! I can't breathe in that damn turban!**

Everyone laughed. "I think I'll like this Voldemort," Ginny whispered to Hermione.

"**QUIRREL: I'm sorry my Lord, its a neccisary precaution. For if they knew that you lived, that when Harry Potter destroyed you your soul lived on...**

"We'd off ya Tommy boy," Harry said. Then everyone looked at him very strangely. "What?" They just shook their heads at him.

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, that when my body was destroyed I was forced to live in the forbidden forest, eating bugs, and mushrooms, and ugh, Unicorn blood.**

Ginny started to laugh. "Whats wrong Ginny?" Harry asked, because nothing funny had happened.

"Its just," Ginny giggled,"there's a muggle saying: you are what you eat. So if that were true, Voldemort would be a unicorn." Those who weren't eating howled with laughter, while those you were eating *cough* Ron *cough* put down their food...slowly.

"**QUIRREL: Until I found you and let you attatch yourself to my soul.**

"And why you would do that, we have no idea," Snape drawled, making the teens laugh.

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, Nobody must know any of that. ****Now, Quirrel, get me some water. (Quirrel bends over and gets water.) Now Quirrel, pour it in my mouth. (Unscrews it and starts to pour backwards into Voldy's mouth).**

"I wonder if that's what they really had to do," Harry laughed.

"No," Hermione answered," Voldemort only had to drink the Unicorn blood to be alive. The food and normal water was taken from Quirrel every time he ate or drank something, kind of like a tapeworm." Then, once again, everyone stared at her," What? I get bored easily." Everyone shook their heads at the bookworm, and Draco kissed her cheek.

**QUIRREL: Your plan to infiltrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly my leige.**

"'My liege'! Seriously, who says that now a days?" Ginny asked. Liege is a weird word, isn't it.

"The servants of the Dark Lord," Snape answer sarcastically. A few of the crazy people laughed, but most people in the room backed away slowly.

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, yes, I'm done with the water. ****(Quirrel bends back over to put water down.)**

The teens started laughing, Dumbledore twinkled slightly, and Snape stared at the group. What was so funny about saying you were done with water?

** We must not have anymore foul ups like tonight in the great hall.**

"You sneezed!" Ron exclaimed.

"Ron," Hermione said nicely,"it's Voldemort. You don't really think he'd take blame for his mistakes, do you?"

"No."

**QUIRREL: I'm sorry My Lord, you sneezed.**

"My brother thinks like Quirrel," Ginny muttered,"that's nice."

**VOLDEMORT: I know that! Get me some lazonex, you swine! ****(Quirrel bends to get it and puffs it into Voldy's nose and then his own) **

The kids started chuckling. They were finding something funny in everything.

**Wash that turban, it tickles my nose.**

"But Voldemort doesn't have nose," Harry said confused.

"Yeah, but that Voldemort does," Ginny explained.

**QUIRREL: Yes my Dark King.**

" 'Dark King"! Now that just goes over the edge," Ginny said. It would be annoying being called the _Dark King_ or _My Liege_ all day.

**VOLDEMORT: Okay, just relax with the Dark King, okay? I watch you wipe your butt daily.**

"Merlin," Draco said over the laughter,"that would be embarrassing. You now, whipping your butt in front of one of the darkest wizards of all time." Then he imagined it, and joined the rest of the teens in laughing at the two.

** You can call me Voldemort we're there. We've reached that point.**

"Oh," Ginny giggled,"you've reached _that_ point have you?" This caused the rest of the girls to laugh, and the boys to be very confused.

**QUIRREL: Yes, my- Voldemort.**

"Ahhhh," the girls cooed.

"What are you finding so cute?" Harry asked the girls worriedly.

"Those two," Cho said,"it's obvious that they're going to get together."

"WHAT?!" was asked from the boys.

"I wonder what their shipper name should be?" Ginny asked.

"I've got it," Hermione smiled, ignoring the fact that Draco was trying to scoot away from her,"Quirrelmort!"

"Perfect," the other two said, and the three erupted into giggles. All of the boys in the room, no matter the age, stared at each other in fear. If the musical they were watching could make three usually sane girls giggle like lunatics at the idea of Voldemort and Quirrel hooking up, what would it do to them?

**VOLDEMORT: Now Quirrel, get us ready for bed. We must be well(bends over) rested if we wish to kill Potter. **

Harry groaned at that, which caused everyone to chuckle.

**Tonight in the great hall, he was so close! We could have touched him.**

"That didn't sound wrong at all," Snape muttered, and Dumbledore laughed, having heard what the potions master said. The teens looked at the two like they were crazy, but they all had a good idea of what Snape had said.

**(Quirrels put mouthwash in his mouth) Revenge is at my fingertips Quirrel, I can taste it! It taste like cool mint.**

**QUIRREL: Thats our listerine Voldemort.**

"What's listerine?" Ron asked.

"Mouthwash," Ginny answered, knowing this stuff after spending almost all of the summer at Hermione's house.

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, excelent. Well, um, goodnight Quirrel.**

**QUIRREL: (Turns so that Quirrels back is facing the bed) Goodnight. (Leans back slowly and Voldy's head goes straight into the pillow. Stays there for about five seconds)**

"Well that's not awkward at all," Harry muttered, while the girls went back to giggling like a bunch of lunatics.

**VOLDEMORT: Okay okay, I can't do this! You got to roll over, I can't sleep on my tummy.**

"Can you imagine Voldemort actually saying that?" Cho asked as everyone else laughed at the mental image of the Dark Lord, Lord Moldyshorts, King of Serpents and Unicorns saying that.

**QUIRREL: I always sleep on my back, I have back problems, Its the only way I'm comfortable.**

"How about sleeping on your sides? That can't hurt, can it?" Harry asked, laughing along with everyone else in the room.

**VOLDEMORT: You roll over RIGHT NOW! ****Or I'll- I'll eat your pillow! ****You'll be having a dream that your eating a giant marshmallow and you'll wake up and find your favourite goose feathered pillow will be missing.**

"I feel like I'm missing a reference," Hermione said, then put on a cute thinking face that made Draco kiss the top of her head.

**QUIRREL: Fine, we'll compromise. We'll sleep on our side.**

"That's what Harry said," Ron yelled,"Harry, you think like Quirrel!"

**VOLDEMORT: Okay, I guess I can do this.**

**QUIRREL: Now goodnight.**

**VOLDEMORT: Goodnight Quirrel.**

"Not gonna be that simply, is it?" Snape asked sarcastically.

"Living with someone never is," Dumbledore chuckled.

** (Voldy's eyes are open and is staring at the robes on the chair next to the bed. Keeps looking for around fifteen seconds.) Hey Quirrel. How long have those robes been on that chair?**

"HAAAA,"Ginny screamed,"NEAT FREAK!"

"Ginny calm down," Harry said trying to calm the ginger down.

**QUIRREL: I think they're from last night, I just put them there for now.**

**VOLDEMORT: Well, are you planning on putting them in a hamper? What's your plan with these?**

**QUIRREL: I figured I'd just leave them there for now and put them away in the morning okay?**

**VOLDEMORT: No! No, no that's not okay! I can't go to sleep knowing that there is dirty clothes on the chair,**

"Look Voldy," Hermione glared,"I slept for a year not knowing what would happen to Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase. If you can't sleep one night knowing there are dirty clothes on a chair, I will find you and-" she stopped talking and made a choking jester at the screen. Everyone in the room, minus Ginny who knew where Hermione was coming from, stared at Hermione like she confessed to being the little mermaid and killing off flownder(sp).

** the chair is going to start to smell like dirty clothes!**

**QUIRREL: Look, I promise I'll put them away in the morning.**

"Good Quirrel," Harry praised,"stand up to the evil person on the back of your head, sucking on your life force."

"You need to work on that praise, mate," Ron commented.

**VOLDEMORT: You put them away, RIGHT NOW! I COMAND YOU to just, fold them at least! Make it into a neat pile. (they both sit up)**

**QUIRREL: Look, if we're going to be in this situation for a while, we're going to have to learn to live with each other. Now, I've been single all my life ****and I have some habbits, and sometimes I leave laundry around.**

Ginny and Hermione started laughing for some reason. "Whats so funny?" Draco asked his girlfriend worriedly.

"Inside joke," the two said simultaneously.

**VOLDEMORT: Well, I believe that everything has its place. Muggles have their place, Mudbloods**

Suddenly, a pillow hit the TV. Everyone turned towards Draco, who had thrown it. "Draco, sweety," Hermione said,"why did you throw a pillow at the TV?"

"Because he said a bad word."

Hermione bite her lip to stop from laughing,"Yes, he said a bad word, but please don't throw a pillow at my TV."

Draco smiled,"Okay," and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

** have their place and so. Do. Your. Clothes! Namely, a dresser!**

**QUIRREL: Well, aren't we an odd couple!**

** (starts to sing and stands up) You won't sleep on your tummy,**

"Oh, good Lord."

**VOLDEMORT: You won't sleep on your back.**

**QUIRREL+VOLDEMORT: We're quite a cooky couple you'll agree.**

**QUIRREL: We share some hands and fingers,**

**VOLDEMORT: And yet the feeling lingers.**

**"**Didn't sound wrong at all," Harry muttered.

**QUIRREL+VOLDEMORT: We're just about as different, as anyone can be!**

"Yeah," Cho agreed,"you are."

**VOLDEMORT: You like plotting a garden, and I like plotting to kill!**

"Why is that not surprising?" Ginny asked sarcastically.

**QUIRREL: You think that you should rule the world, I think books are a thrill! **

Hermione sighed happily, thinking about her wonderful friends, the books.

**Sipping tea by the fire is swell-**

**VOLDEMORT: Pushing people in is fun as well.**

"Also not surprising."

**I like folding all my ties.**

**QUIRREL: And you have no friends, hey thats a surprise!**

"Go Quirrel," was yelled by every boy in the room. They each then got hit with a pillow. Yes, even Snape.

**QUIRREL+VOLDEMORT: I guess its plain to see, when you look at you and me! We're different, different, different as can be.**

"Yes you are," Ron agreed.

**VOLDEMORT: Your a sissy, a twot a girl! I'm the darkest of Lords.**

**QUIRREL: I'm the smartest professor here, I've won several awards!**

"You are not the smartest professor, you inarticulate moron," Snape yelled.

"Yeah," Harry agreed," if smartness was measured by awards, Hermione should have, like, a million."

"And you and Ron would have negative a hundred," Ginny smiled, causing everyone to chuckle.

**VOLDEMORT: My new worlds about to unfold,**

**QUIRREL: You got beat by a two year old.**

"I was one and a half," Harry muttered.

**VOLDEMORT: I'll kill him this time through and through,**

**QUIRREL: Or you might just give him another tatoo.**

"It's a scar," Ron said, confused.

"They just wanted it to rhyme," Hermione told her friend.

**QUIRREL+VOLDY: You really must agree, when you look at you and me! We're different, different, different as can-**

**VOLDEMORT: I'll rise again and I'll rule the world! ****But you must help me renew! For when our plans suceed-**

**QUIRREL: Prevails!**

**VOLDEMORT: Part of that world goes to you.**

"You know," Hermione said,"if you don't die will separating from Voldeshorts, which isn't likely." Everyone frowned. What was with everyone saying Voldyshorts?

**QUIRREL: When I rule the world I plant flowers!**

"That's nice," Cho smiled.

**VOLDEMORT: When I rule the world I'll have Snakes!**** And goblins and werewolves a fleet of Dementors and giants and thestrals and all my death eaters!**

"That's not nice," Cho frowned, and everyone laughed at the Asian.

**QUIRREL+VOLDEMORT: When I rule the world! (Both start to laugh like maniacs)**

"So," Harry said,"let's hope neither of you rule the world."

"Yeah," Ginny said, standing up to change the scenes,"that about sums it all up."

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Massive thanks to all the reviews, favorites, and follows. If you awesome people could do me a favor and read a story I'm Betaing, that'd be awesome. It's called a different yule ball. Thanks for reading and please review.


	7. Act 1 Scene 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Starkid. I'm sorry, you have no idea how many times I've asked.**

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Ginny fixed up the next scene, then looked at her friend. She was a kind of jealous. Not of the fact Hermione was dating Draco, but because she finally got together with a guy she'd been crushing on for a long time, and Harry…well, she rather not think about it.

**(Harry and Hermione are sitting on a bench, Harry with Guitar and Hermione with notepad writing Potions essay. Neville is across the stage on a bench looking at his plant.)**

**HERMIONE: Harry, don't you think you should be trying to figure out what the first task is gonna be? You could actually die if you're not ready.**

**HARRY: What? Come on. I mean, can't you just do it for me? Can't you just prepare all of my stuff for me,**

Hermione glared at her friend. It was _so_ annoying when him and Ron asked her to do their work for them. And that happened a lot. Why she still hanged out with them, she had no idea.

** I mean, what are you doing right now? (all said whilst playing the guitar)**

**HERMIONE: I'm writing your potions essay.**

"You never write our potions essays," Ron said,"we just ask you to proof read them, and then while explaining how to spell something, we trick you into saying the answer."

"YOU do that," Harry said,"I just asked then get hit by a book."

"Because you ask me every question there is," Hermione huffed.

"Miss Granger," Snape drawled,"I forbid you from ever helping these inarticulate morons with their homework ever again, unless you believe they could never get it on their own."

Harry and Ron looked really put out, but Hermione smiled like Christmas had come early.

**HARRY: (stops playing) Oh, well do that first cause that's due tomorrow. (Hermione nods) But after that, Can you prepare for the first task, Please?**

Everyone rolled their eyes at the teen.

**HERMIONE: Ok.**

**HARRY: Thank you, you are the best. (pokes her nose) **

"I know, I know," Harry said, seeing Hermione's face,"Never unless I want my balls hexed off." Hermione smiled and nodded at her friend.

**You got it, thank Hermione. (starts to play guitar again.)**

**(Enter Ginny bouncing a pencil in her fingers)**

**HARRY: Hey, Ginny, come here, I wanna show you something, come here.**

**(Ginny walks over)**

**GINNY: Hey, Harry Potter.**

"Not the mystified voice," Ginny cried," get rid of her." Everyone chuckled at the ginger, but ignored her.

**HARRY: Listen, I wanna play this song that I'm working on. I met this girl I really, really like and I want her to know that she's really special, so I just wanna know what you think, so just for the purpose of now, 'cause I'm still working on the lyrics.**

"This should be interesting," Cho said, seeing both Ginny and Harry blush. Maybe Hermione would win that bet.

** I'm gonna put your name, where her name should be, but I don't think its really gonna work out, Well, lets just give me a shot.**

"Yeah, Harry," Ron said,"never hurts to try." He probably wouldn't have said that if he knew that Harry had a crush on his little sister.

** (Starts to play and sing) Your tall and fun and pretty, your really really skinny, Ginny (scowls) I'm the Mickey to your Minnie, your the tigger to my winny, Ginny, Gonna take you to the city, want to take you out to dinny, Ginny.**

"I like this song," Cho and Hermione said, dancing around in their seats.

** Your cuter than a guinie Pig, wanna take you out to Winnipig, THATS in Canada! Ginny Ginny Ginn- (Stops singing) You know what, this doesnt work with me at all. **

"But, but but," the two girls cried,"it worked perfectly."

**But I don't know, how does it make you feel? Emotionally?**

**GINNY: WOW! Wowee, Harry Potter.**

Ginny had started rocking back and forth. Harry thought about patting her head kindly, then decided against it.

**HARRY: Don't you think it could kinda, I don't know, make a girl fall in love with me?**

**GINNY: Oh, I think it already ha****s.**

Ron's eyes had widened, but he remained silent.

**HARRY: Awesome, 'cause its for Cho Chang! (goes back to playing guitar)**

Harry was then hit by a boot and a tennis shoe.

**GINNY: Yeah, She's she is beautiful.**

"That's probably the only thing my character will say that's true," Ginny said to her friend.

"Thanks," Cho smiled.

**HARRY: Are you nuts? Beautiful, more like supermegafoxyawesomehot! **

All the guys started laughing. "Never tell Fred and George that," Harry laughed,"they'd say it 24/7."

**She's the hottest girl I've ever met. She's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than any girl that I know, In my imediate group of friends. ****She's a lot more better and Awesome. **

Ginny and Hermione both threw random thing at their friend. Once Harry was hit by some book called _House of Hades_ **(A/N:Sorry! I couldn't resist!)**,he said,"It isn't me! calm down you two."

"Oh,"Ginny said,"we aren't mad at what you character said-"

"We just like throwing things at you,"Hermione smiled. Cho laughed at the two, Dumbledore twinkled, and the rest just thought 'Poor bloke.'

**(ginny get upset and plays with hair.)**

**(Enter Ron)**

**(Ron walks over stands on bench)**

**RON: (Carrying bag of potato chips/crisps)Sup Neville! (slaps his head and goes over to his friends.) ****Move, move, move, move, move ****(to ginny)**

Everyone chuckled at the boy.

**Awesome. HEY, Harry what's up? So I was just off stage hanging out with Hagrid, **

"Um," Draco frowned,"didn't he just give away the fact that this is a musical."

"Sweety,"Hermione smiled at the blonde," that's the point."

**and I was, I err, saw these delivery wizards, ****bringing giant cages into the dungeons, I don't know what thats for.**

"It's a good thing you two are friends with Miss Granger, or else, I'm afraid to say, you'd be dead in five seconds," Dumbledore said to the two boys. The two pouted, but remained silent, while everyone else was laughing the one of the truest statements in history.

**HERMIONE: Giant cages? I bet what ever is in those cages has something to do with the first task.**

"That proved my point."

**Harry, we have to find out what it is.**

**HARRY: Hey, hey, hey guys, chill. I'm busy. (plays guitar with a stupid face.)**

"You're joking,"Harry yelled at the screen," you could die and all you do is play a stupid guitar! IDIOT."

"Harry,"Hermione said,"you realized you practically just called yourself an idiot seeing as you didn't read a single thing that i gave you."

"It would've filled a book. And you have really, really, really, _really _tiny print."_  
_

**HERMIONE: (muttered) Harry Potter. (Walks up to him and takes his guitar)**

**RON+GINNY: NO! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! WOAH WOAH WOAH WAOH!**

"Talk about an overreaction,"Snape muttered.

**HERMIONE: Guys! Now listen, this could be a matter of life and death.**

"Actually,"Cho reasoned,"it's really only a matter about death."

**RON: Well, it doesn't matter, because its after hours, okay? And we can't leave the Gryffindor house, we'll probably get in trouble if we do, ****and even if we do, Shlongbottom **

"Ron-"

"I'll apologize next time I see him, okay!"

"I was just going to say that you have toilet paper on your shoe." Everyone laughed as Ron got up to throw it away.

**over there will tell on us anyway.**

**HERMIONE: Neville wont tell.**

**NEVILLE: Oh yes, I most certainly will.**

"Remember first-year?" Harry laughed, which caused Hermione and Ron to join him, and the other to chuckle nervously.

**RON: What are we gonna do?**

**HERMIONE: Simple guys, the cloak.**

**RON: Of course.**

**HARRY+RON+GINNY: (all stand) The cloak.**

"Not freaky at all," Draco mutter.

"Of course it isn't," Harry, Ron, and Ginny said simultaneously.

**GINNY: Wait, what cloak?**

**RON: Shut up! (claps hands over her head)**

The _House of Hades _book that hit Harry earlier was then thrown at a certain Wealsey.

**HARRY: Well, last year, I got a presen left for me -Oh bye Neville- I got a present left to me at my first year at Hogwarts. And, uh, it was left to me, by my Dad, the dad thats dad, my father is dead. ****I have a dead father. He used this himself, this is my invisibility cloak.**

"Yeah we get it. My parents are dead."

**RON: Yeah!**

**GINNY: Oh Boy! Oh wowee Harry Potter! You have a real invivibility cloak. ****Oh Oh do you know what I would do if I had an invisibility cloak?**

"Sneak around Hogwarts and solve mysteries that never happened until I arrived," Harry smiled. Everyone looked thoughtful at the teens thoughts. Nothing had happened that was unusual. In fact, they had never had someone as brave as Harry, loyal as Ron, and smart as Hermione in a long time. The fact that they were all in the same house, all friends when the Dark Lord came back from the dead...why, it was as if it were out of a book.

**HARRY: I would, I would kick wiener dogs.**

"That's very mean,"Hermione said.

**RON: And I would pretend to be a ghost and I would scare mean people.**

"Also mean," Ginny added.

**HERMIONE: I'd use it to avoid ever having to face my reflection in the mirror.**

"And that's just sad,"Cho finished.

**HARRY: Thats a good one.**

"No it's not."

**GINNY: Well, actually, I was gonna say that I would use it to fake my own death and watch people cry at the funeral.**

"That's a combination of the two," Draco noted.

**HARRY: Okay, anyway. lets get out of here, before Neville gets back. (all start to head for the door)**

**RON: Woah woah woah woah, where do you think your going?**

**GINNY: Umm, with you guys?**

**RON: No no no, no way, no kid sisters allowed, okay? (claps hands above head with tongue sticking out) **

"Fine then,"Ginny said,"I'll have Hermione sneak me in."

"You do realize that once you get under the cloak, we could see you, right?"Harry asked.

"I knew that."

**Besides, theres only enough room under this cloak for two people. (hermione looks sad) So, errr, come on Hermione, come on.**

"So I don't count as a person..."

**(Hermione gives guitar to ginny)**

**GINNY: (SINGS) The way his hair falls in his eyes, **

Ginny eyes widened and she instantly started blushing. This was going to be so embarrassing.

**makes me wonder if he, ever sees through my disguise, and I'm under his spell. ****Everything is falling, and I don't know where to land, everyone knows who he is, but they don't know who I am. (SINGS TO GUITAR) Haaaaaaaaaaarry. Haaaaaaaaaaaarry.**

Well, Ginny thought, she can belt(sp) a note, can't she?

**Why can't you see, what your doing to me? ****I've seen you conquer certain death, even when your just standing there, you take away my breath, and maybe. **

Ginny's face was currently matching her hair, and Harry wasn't that far off.

**Some day you'll hear my song and, understand that all along, theres something more that i'm trying to saaaayy! Then I say! Haaaaaaaaaaaarry! ****Haaaaaaaarry! Why can't you see, what your doing to me? (hugs guitar) What your doing to me? (sighs) what your doing to me.**

"Well," Cho said after a pause,"that was something."

When Hermione tries to get up to change the scene, Draco asked,"Can I try?"

"Sure," Hermione smile,"knock yourself out."

* * *

Thanks for reading. I would really appreciate 35 reviews before I upload the next chapter.


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